Episode 06: What About the Siblings?
Raising a challenging child? If you have other children, you might often feel guilty - for what they see, hear, and the way your attention is often diverted elsewhere. Megan shares this guilt, and in this episode, she takes a closer look at the relationship between her twins. Has she done enough for the other children in their home? Time will only tell.(See more below)
I often worry about my other two kids.
They’ve had to watch spiraling meltdowns. They’ve had to witness words come out of my son’s mouth that he normally wouldn’t say. They’ve had to worry about making Mr. 7 upset, and therefore say things to me like, “I can’t do ____. It might make Mr. 7 mad.” This is all especially true for Miss 7. She’s worried about him since they were babies.
It’s kind of the perfect storm. Miss 7’s natural personality is to care for others. She’s an empath, she’s a nurturing, loving human. She wants everyone to be happy, but no one more than her twin. And it’s hard to watch.
I remember a time, when they were toddlers, that Miss 7 witnessed a HUGE meltdown from her brother, and once he finally fell fast asleep in his crib, I heard her whisper, “Mr. 7? You’re okay now, Mr. 7?” That incredibly emotional moment - is it damaging her?
Because that’s the thing - is this my fault? Have I not done enough to show her how amazing she is? Is there a way to do that without spiting her twin?
Parenting is hard, guys. They sure don’t tell you about any of this in the parenting books.
The biggest lesson I need Miss 7 to learn is that taking care of others is her superpower. I don’t ever want her to stop. BUT. Caring for others can NEVER take away your own happiness. She will always put others before her - but she shouldn’t sacrifice her own wishes in order to do it.
I truly don’t know if I’m doing enough. I hope so. I hope she grows up to seek a partner who treats her with respect. I hope she learns that caring for someone who flips out on you, often, isn’t typical. I don’t want to put down her brother. But I also want to raise her up.