Mom Kelly van Rooyen on Holding Space For Your Kids Despite Challenging Behavior (Listen to the episode below!)
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Excerpt: "Respecting that your child's emotions are different to yours, and giving them space to have them - and a safe space. Giving them the knowledge that, no matter how you feel, 'I love you, my love is unconditional, I don't love you more when you're quiet or well-behaved or listening to me. I love you all the time. So much so, that you are screaming at me right now but I'm going to sit with you and love you through it.” (More below)
Clubhouse: @ontheharddays
Overview: In this episode, I talk with mom Kelly van Rooyen about the concepts behind hand-in-hand parenting and creating a safe space for our kids in our home.
Excerpt #1: “And since your children take even longer to self-regulate, they need you with them to co-regulate. So it’s sitting with them in those moments. But as you can imagine, it’s not easy. It’s not easy, every time your child has a tantrum, to sit there and be a warm harbor in their stormy seas.”
Excerpt #2: “If you look at it as, I’m going to prepare them for the world. They need to get used to disappointments. So I am going to be harsh when they do things wrong, because that’s how society sees it - where’s their safe space? If you see yourself as, all those horrible things are going to happen to them in the world, but they will always be able to come home and process it.”
Excerpt #3: "Respecting that your child's emotions are different to yours, and giving them space to have them - and a safe space. Giving them the knowledge that, no matter how you feel, 'I love you, my love is unconditional, I don't love you more when you're quiet or well-behaved or listening to me. I love you all the time. So much so, that you are screaming at me right now but I'm going to sit with you and love you through it.”
Your turn: It’s so hard to hold space for your kids when they’re melting down, especially if you find yourself parenting in the “traditional” sense. Want to make a change? DM me on Instagram @on.the.hard.days and share your thoughts with me! You are a rockstar, Mama!