Dad(!) Chef Kibby on How Cooking Creates a Connection for Kids With Challenging Behaviors & Trauma
This is a first - I’ve got a DAD on my show this week!
Chef Kibby and I had an in-depth discussion on kids with traumatic backgrounds. These children often have very challenging behaviors and struggle to receive the support they need. Additionally, they don’t feel connected to the people taking care of them. That’s where Chef Kibby comes in - he’s a professional chef and foster parent, and he’s cooking with his kids. And doing that - is changing everything for him and his kids. In this episode, we talk about:
-How to say yes when your child wants to help cook
-How to use that time of cooking together in a way that strengthens your bond.
-What a trauma background looks like and why kids who’ve been through trauma struggle to love and connect.
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Overview: In this episode, I talk with Dad Chef Kibby about how to utilize cooking with your kids to bridge the connection and depth of love and understanding when challenging behaviors get in the way.
Excerpt #1: “A lot of the issues that children from hard places (foster and adoptive children, children who've been separated from their families, or have experienced any other kind of trauma), [have is] they don't receive love the same way, because there's mental things that are getting in the way. And if we can allow ourselves to look past their behavior and see the mental stuff going on behind the scenes, it makes for more opportunities not only for grace, but also for healing. And so, coming from a place of connection rather than correction.”
Excerpt #2: “The way I am reacting to this child is reinforcing the behavior and is just prolonging the time that it's going to take for growth and relational development to take place.”
Excerpt #3: “You're still the one in charge. You're not giving up all control to your children. There's a difference between that and being completely permissive. But there are ways to empower a child and still guide them to the behaviors that you want from them. Now, that can't necessarily happen in the middle of a tantrum, but the great thing that I've seen in inviting my children into the kitchen, is that it creates opportunities for us to practice these strategies when they are calm, and when they are regulated, to give them opportunities to do what I ask of them, and to follow instructions, and to meet expectations, and to have a voice in the operation.”
Your turn: What positive interactions have you had with your kids in the kitchen? DM me on Instagram @on.the.hard.days and share your thoughts with me! You are a rockstar, Mama!